A few days passed and I allowed my life to move on. I let my mind bury the memories of Raphael under the burden of life. Sunday rolled around and my girlfriend had dragged me out church shopping. Thanks to my new found interest in fashion I was able to put together a modest navy suit. Much to my girlfriends delight my clothes weren’t a wrinkled mess. I had long forgotten the name of the church she dragged me to. I had no interest then, and to be honest I have no interest now. We sat together in a middle row. I sat slightly slumped bible in hand. My eyes scanned and paced the words within as my ears stopped the words from reaching within. “And he says he will open up blessings to which you will not have room enough to receive.” The shouts sweated out by the preacher flew out of the other side of my face as soon as they come to one side. I dug in my pocket for on index card and pencil. I put the note card inside the bible and faked note writing. I drew smiley faces, My girlfriend sat attentive to the sweaty shouts of the preacher and added to the echo’s of ‘amen’ and ‘all right nows’. I had long since run out of note card space. I finally lifted my eyes from my smiling note card. The preacher waved his arms “And he said I…now…now remember this now…what does he say now?” I get up and walk to the back of the church. I need any excuse to get up and walk. Any reason to not listen. Any chance to empty my bladder. After much delay I decided to emerge from the back of the church. As I return I note the seat next to my girlfriend was taken by another woman who was attentive to the preacher as she was inattentive to the world around her. She mumbled her chants of ‘amen.’ I look for a new spot. I go to the back row discretely hidden in the back row sat several empty spaces on a pew. A little boy sat alone by himself in the middle of the pew. Without a moments hesitation I took a seat a few spaces away from the boy. I felt that standing would bring unnecessary attention to myself. As I take my seat I realize that I left the bible with my girlfriend I had nothing to flip through and scan over to pass the time. Desperate for entertainment I let me eyes wander in the church. Trying to guess and understand each individual they came across. As I turned my head from right to left I let my eyes settle on the little boy sitting next to me a few spaces down. My heart quicken and my blood filled with hot adrenalin. All the memories came busting through the layers of life I had tried to bury it with. It was Raphael. He sat unmoved head straight ahead. He wore a red short sleeve dress shirt with brown khakis. I shook my head and forced my head forward; but my eyes in my mind stayed on him. I could feel him sitting in silence. I could see his large brown eyes. I could sense he knew I was next to him.
“And see you gotta trust in God, just trust God and everything else..” the pastors voice drained in and out of my ears. My concentration was seized by Raphael. I played with words and sentences in my mind trying to think of what to say.
“Raphael?” I murmured under my breath. I wasn’t sure if he had heard me under the shouting. I turned as out of the corner of my eye I see him casually turn his head toward the sound of my voice. “Andre.” As he responds in the same tone I remember from before. The way he says my name almost makes me jump. I want to believe he has practiced it. As if we have met here before.
“Hey...it’s you. What’s up?” I ask.
He simple shakes his head.
“Not much of a talker huh?” I keep going trying to get conversation from him. I wanted more out of him than two or three words.
“Not when I have nothing to talk about.” He says his eyes seizing me. I wasn’t as shacked by his gaze. I allowed his eyes to enter me without hesitation. Locked in by his eyes I carried on.
“What brings you to church today? Parents brought you?” I asked him.
“I’m here for the hell of it.” He says non-chantilly as he nods toward the pulpit.
“Ask and ye shall receive!” the preacher patted himself off and spoke again. “Yes sir he said you can’t receive if you don’t ask, he waitin’ for you to ask!” he roared over the audience. As I watched Raphael glare at the preacher my attention shifted towards the congregation. Those that were awake and paying attention seemed to be lost in the preachers words. They swayed from side to side uttering ‘amen’s’ to fill the silence. Raphael and I sat and studied the people until the pastor stopped for a short break. He needed to give his lungs a rest.
Raphael turned his head toward me. “You should met a couple of people.” Raphael said hoping out the pew. He slipped past me and headed for the isle. I followed him and once in the isle people began greeting and hugging me. I watches as Raphael was able somehow to skillfully dodge and weave between them. I wasn’t so lucky.
“Hello brother.”
“Hey.”
“How’s it going?”
“Lord keep you brother.”
I was greeted by every person I walked by. They all embraced me with their words. They all seemed very friendly, all very eager to welcome me into the church. One man whom I was forced to bump into when following Raphael forced conversation with me.
“Hey...hey you look new.” The man smiled and out stretched his hand. “Welcome to the church, my names Dante.” I shook Dante’s hand and replied with my won name. “I noticed you look bored sitting all by yourself back there. Don’t go to church much?” he continued placing both his hands back into his suit pants
“Not really…this is my first time in..uh..a” I laughed as I was embarrassed to admit to myself I don’t know the last time I attended church. “A long time.” I finished Dante smiled right along with me. “Hey it’s all right…happens to the best of us. Glad you came by.”
“Thanks” I said as I began to carefully look over Dante’s shoulder for Raphael. I didn’t see him. “Hey…listen.” Dante started but my mind played him off. I had lost sight of Raphael. I was forced to stand in front of Dante and pretend to listen. To keep my mind busy I looked over Dante and picked him apart with my mind. I didn’t notice it before but his eyes reminded me a lot of Raphael’s. They seemed very large.
“And with you sitting over there by yourself I figured, for the hell of it.” As he stopped speaking he caught me looking over his eyes.
“You okay? So what you think?”
I found myself better able to break that brown eyed gaze. I took my eyes out of his and tried to jump back into a conversation I was never in. “Yeah…uh…sounds…ya.” I replied with a shrug of assurance.
“I thought so.” Dante said smiling again and turning toward the church exit. “It wont take long.” He said throwing his head over his shoulder and tossing me a grin. I followed Dante out of the church and as we entered the church parking lot my mind bombarded me with questions I should of bombarded him with. “It’s a church kid…how much trouble I get into?” I asked myself. I didn’t want to know the answer.
In the car Dante looked over his shoulder and backed out. “your gonna like this.” He said looking at me quickly before returning his large brown eyes back into the rear view mirror. “…Riding music…” he spoke again turning a knob on the dash board.
“Cha-YA! Fuck bitches…get money…fuck bitches.” I listened to Dante play and softly mutter his anthem to himself.
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